Begitulah kisahh...

(PART 1)

As always.. whenever I returned from holiday or long weekend I have always feel a little bit depressed. Not only because of the mountain of pending work but also because if you have tasted something so good, the day to day live seemed worse than before...

My theory goes like this: - More fun, more misery - Little fun, little misery - No fun, no misery. Because how would know that it is a misery if you never taste what fun is.

I believe I was born as a fighter. Or at least, that is how I view my self. A fighter. I seldom accept things just the way they are and always try to fight my self through it. Either through influence (talking and convincing basically), fact and solid data or working my butt off if that's the only way to get what I want. And most of the time, you not always get what you want..

Similar thing have been happening again although it is now in different dimension .

It seemed that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much time I spent and no matter how robust the data I gathered, to some people - it was never enough. The demand is high and the load is overwhelming, although I managed and doing as best as I could, it still was not enough. It was frustrating and disheartening. And for a while I had difficulties in accepting the fact that ~ regardless all the effort, I was just not good enough...

I beat my self up for a week and try to see things in different angle. I came to a point that it is impossible to please everybody and not get my self caught in between. I feel like having lump in my throat trying to repress all the emotion I have been feeling and I know that this is bad for my self. I felt intellectually crippled and emotionally kidnapped.

I finally managed to find a person where I could speak without having to worry of being judged or flamed. I was fully aware that the person I spoke to most probably will not be able to do anything about it but at least she/he is there to listen and emphatize. Without emotion. And with high degree of confidentiality. Someone that I fully trust will not repeat what I said nor let it influence her/his own emotion. Which is exactly what I need. Another emotion is the last thing I need at the moment..

And I gladly feel better afterwards. At least I am now at the beginning of accepting the fact that things has changed. What happened in a book, happened in a book. Life sometimes work in it's own funny way where I do not always have control of what is happening no matter how hard I want to control or influence it. It just not it. Not now. Probably not ever again. All I need to (and the only thing I can) do is do my own share and do things within my own domain as best as I could. The rest is up to life. And no, I don't want to talk about this anymore. So don't ask me about what it is..

PART 2

Venue: Kampung Merang... Terengganu - : I love this place... Ok... Bukanlah disebabkan ini kampung tanah kelahiran saya... But is a quite village in Terengganu. Discover this village for yourself... get off the car, walk off the beach, leave the hotel lobby.... walk through the fields at sunrise.
..Leave behind the camera, the list of places to go, things to do and stuff to buy. Walk down a dirt path where fishermen nod and call out: 'Nok gi maneh?' Answer simply:'Jalan-jalan', 'Just walking'. Walk slowly, slowly enough to hear the wind in the bamboo, the wings of dragon fly, and the soft footfalls of grace...

...on my trip to Terengganu kali ni... I met a man, called William Vickery. He was a retired Private First Class from the US army. He lives in Hawaii and moves every 6 months between Hawaii, Bali and Terengganu.... I will never forget his wise words: "I travel between Heaven and Paradise..."

Part 3

Kalau tidak kerana "disuruh" Hairi, memang tak teringat langsung nak buat pijat/urut di Terengganu kali ni. Dari pergi berjalan ke sana ke sini... diselaputi habuk, baik ikut saya ikut Andrew, Fuad dan Hairi pergi massage di Spa dekat Aryani Beach Resort (milik Raja Bahrin)... katanya . Biasa larr, kita lebih sibuk mengangkut kamera ke hulu ke hilir, dari menyibukkan diri nak "manjakan diri".... haaahaaa .

I just realised that there is never a picture perfect vacation .... each and everyone in this world has their own view of the world thus their view of the perfect vacation is different... so someone's picture perfect vacation might be a nightmare to others. Haahaaa

Part 4...

Pelik betul dengan selera makan Andy... Entah... mungkin ketika ini kami semua adalah anak dagang di rantau orang... (kecuali saya - sebab terengganu adalah tanah kelahiran saya)... jadi, menu sarapan paginya adalah yang berikut....

Nasik Dagang...

Menu makan tengaharinya pula:

Juga nasi Dagang....

Makan petang:

Juga nasi dagang.....

dan...

malam juga... juadah yg sama... sampai saya yg memang sudah biasa-biasa dengan nasik dagang ni pun jadi teruja sama utk menikmatinya setiap masa... hadoiiiiiiiiiii...... (berat saya bertambah 2 kilo dlm 5 hari... Makkkkkkk!!!!!)...

hah, dan satu hari tu saya terbeli beberapa cucuk satar....

Dan semua pakat serbu satar tinggalkan nasik dagang masing-masing.... hampehhhh betulll...

part 5

Huzni, yelah gambar aku shoot tak cantik macam engkau punya. Aku tahulah kamera aku murah... engkau punya 3 ribu hengget... tak pe-tak pe.... nantilah aku dpt duit lebih sikit... aku beli camera 5000 hengget punya... nantilah... nantiiiiii.

Part 6...

Selamat Datang ke Terengganu....


Hari ni ponteng kerja... kaki kejang.. betis kejang, peha kejang... sakit urat, sakit sendi... sakit saraf....esok jenuhlah nak menjawab dgn bossssss... (mungkin kena bawak khepok lekor sikit kot buat rasuah... heheheh)...

Aha..kat sana hari tu, saya jumpa ni... ...
.......
"Opsssssssss!!!!" hehehehe... (tulisan pun dah tukar hijau ni)

Life is nothing if not challenging

Some struggle from the very beginning till the very end - grappling and wrestling with troubles and trials few of us ever experience.

And some seem to have it easy. Finances, romance, career, family, fun; everything seems to fall into place for them. Most of us are somewhere in between these two extremes.

We struggle from time to time with difficulties. We bear up under our share of suffering. And we partake in our share of happiness as well.

But have you ever wondered - even when life is at its best - if this is all there is?
Certainly, when we compare our lot to many in the world, we can feel as though life is good. But, still, many of us hear a small voice inside - asking if life offers nothing more than transitory happiness .

Don't we spend our lives trying to ignore the fact that life for each of us is going to end - and that we are helpless in the face of this certain fate? Isn't this why so many of us fill our calendars with activities and vacations and diversions - just to avoid having to face our own mortality?


Manusia akan berselisih faham kerana banyak perkara - berebut harta, berebut kawasan, berebut kuasa. Apabila berselisih faham, tidak semuanya berakhir dengan semua pihak bersependapat. Biasanya yang berlaku ialah mesti ada satu pihak yang betul atau menang. Biasanya dicapai dengan cara berperang.

....dan manusia berperang dengan bermacam-macam cara. Adakalanya dengan cara bertarung secara fizikal seperti bertumbuk dan bergaduh. Adakalanya dengan menggunakan bantuan medium lain seperti senjata api dan kereta kebal. Ada manusia juga berperang dalam bermacam-macam cara. Adakalanya secara psikologi seperti sekatan ekonomi atau sekatan makanan . Dan boleh juga melompat macam katak kalau suka....

Hmmm... tapi kita orang muda (yang sedang-sedang) tidak perlu untuk bergaduh untuk perkara-perkara yang kecil seperti ini ~ berbanding menyakitkan tangan memukul bola, saya lebih suka menendang bola. Tetapi untuk mengajak orang-orang yang bertangan besar dan suka memukul bola dengan kuat ini untuk bermain bola, saya tidak fikir ramai yang berminat ....


Oh ya... sebelum terlupa... Mulai esok... (lusa sebenarnya) ...Please accept my apology for not updating any story & visiting others, although I have to say, this time, I have a very good excuse lah.

I wanted to travel somewhere... with 2-3 buddies... and all night in the bus... (dah lama benorr tak naik bas... rasa teruja pulak) - Mungkin di sekitar 4, 5 hari... ke beberapa tempat pilihan... huhu... teruja. (lama dah tak bercuti)..

Dan sebelum itu saya selesaikan satu hutang tag yg diberi kepada saya... diberi oleh adik yang cantik manis Ryna Rayhana...

Sape lah pencipta asal tag ni... saya tak pasti apa motifnya... kita tengok ya...

1. Anda dikehendaki mengambil 3 pic di bahagian muka..
2. Pastikan dicrop..
3. Setiap 1 pic hanya boleh menampakkan 1 @ 2 anggota sahaja..
4. Huraikan sedikit tentang pic itu..
5. Tag sape jer asal lebih 5 org..

Motif????????....
tapi takpelah... sebagai menghargai Dek Ryna inilah dia jawapannya:


Mata saya... nak xplain apa ek... cuma tengoklah ada tahi lalat kat kelopak mata bawah belah kanan... orang kata, kalau ada tahi lalat kat mata ni, jenis org kuat tidoo... errrrr... yelah agaknya.


Saya agak kurang berkenan pada hidung yg besar ni... Kalau boleh saya nak hidung yg kecik mcm shah Rukh Khan... (hidung shah rukh khan kecik ke ha??) **errrr... jgn nak byk komen. Syukur Allah bagi hidung yg sempurna - Dia ambik balik hidung tu baru padan muka** - ok! ok!... syukur Alhamdulillah... atas kurniaan hidung yg sempurna ni...




Bibir mulut berulas nipis... errrr... tak reti lah nok komen pasal diri sendiri...


Ok... dah settle... bolehlah bercuti dgn aman tanpa bebanan hutang yg tertinggal... dan saya tak nak tag sape2 lah...

ok... jumpa lagi bila saya balik nanti...
have a nice day

Sekadar catatan...

I had a quiet conversation with a dear old friend yesterday. It was about a challenge (read: opportunity) that I declined to take. He send me an e-mail couple of days a go. Questioning me. He thought I had the capability. I told him honestly the reason why. I simply was not interested in the challenge presented to me. And I am the one who know what is best for me.... yes?

He came to see me again yesterday. Tried to convince me to change my mind. I did not and I was not about to change my mind. He left and I dropped him an e-mail. Thanking him for trusting me. He replied and said that I’ve been in my comfort zone too long. Am I? Maybe I am.

For those who knew me would know that I never decline a challenge nor pass an opportunity to develop my self. But why is it difference this time? Maybe because I know my pool too well. Maybe because I know the other fishes too well. I knew that the big fishes does not always look after the smaller fishes. And there are sharks. And vampire fishes. And jelly fishes that are transparant but ready to electrocute you.

Don’t get me wrong, I was not afraid of them. I have never been and I never will. But to be able to swim, I need to have clear mind. And peace at heart. Something that I doubt that I will keep on having, had I welcomed the challenge. Although that would mean I will get more planktons but planktons come with a price. A price that I am not willing to pay.

Am I at fault to choose not to take it?



hmmmm... apa-apalah...

Things I See.. (Lammee See...)

Ada sorang teman bertanya... kenapa saya suka menulis...

Errr... apa ya saya nak jawab... Hmmm selalunya saya menulis hanya untuk memotivasi diri. Mudah-hudahan dpt memotivasi orang lain juga... maklum larrr nak baca buku motivasi bukan semudah baca novel kisah cinta. kalau boleh.... bukan takat baca... cuba faham dan selami di sebalik TerSurat dan TerSirat kata-kata itu...

Kata orang yang berakal.... dalam hidup kita... setiap hari akan ada "Jalan" yang perlu kita pilih... jalan yang dipilih mungkin jalan yang mudah... atau mungkin juga jalan yang penuh dengan dugaan dan cabaran... atau jika tersilap pilih jalan, mungkin kita akan temui "jalan mati" Ops! Boleh jugak kalau mahu jalan-jalan cari makan

Hakikatnya kita perlu memilih... biarpun membuat pilihan bukanlah perkara yang mudah... adakalanya kita perlu berbohong... atau mungkin perlu menyakiti sesuatu/seseorang/mungkin juga diri sendiri...

Inilah hakikat kehidupan... kita yang bernama Manusia... tidak pernah puas dengan apa jua kelebihan dan kekurangan yang kita miliki... sifat Dengki itu sering menguasai diri... bukan hanya orang lain, malah... adakalanya kita jugak begitu. So.... jangan nak kontrol-kontrol bagai... takde faedahnyerrrr...

Adakalanya kita akan menjadi mangsa dengki orang lain... dan ada kalanya juga... kitalah "pendengki" itu...

Hmmm... dengki itu tidak salah... ada masanya dengki tu memang perlu... cuma tinggal lagi, bagaimana kita mengawal perasaan itu kepada satu tahap yang sepatutnya... yakni yang paling minima... bagaimana? Bergantunglah kepada cara kawalan masing-masing... jangan sampai merosak diri... jangan sampai merosak orang lain sudahh...









oh ya... sebelum terlupa (saya kalau bab yg ni memang senang lupa... ada masanya buat-buat lupa) - Ada tag lagi nak buat...

Saya kena tag dengan si Naga Perang... ok.. jom tengok apa dia nak...

Sila berikan kegunaan lain yang digunakan oleh anda kepada barang-barang yang dinyatakan di bawah...(maksudnya bukan kegunaan sebenar barang tu tapi kegunaan tambahan yang anda buat la dengan barang tu, kira diaplikasikan oleh anda... konon kreatif la tu!)

1) Anak Kunci
kegunaan asal - untuk kunci pintu, laci dan apa2 yg berkunci
kegunaan sampingan - Errr.. nakk buat apa ek... buat anting2 wanita boleh lah kot... gantung kat telinga... hmmm, macam bagus jugak idea ni kan... comfirm kunci tak hilang. kalau balik kerja suami isteri... masa nak bukak pintu tu... keluar dialog mcm ni:
"Yang!!! Kunci pintu rumah mana... ?"
"Ni haa... tergantung kat telinga ayang ni... abang tolongla bukak jap.." see.. selamat dan praktikal.

2) Penutup Pen
kegunaan asal - tutup pen, x nak kasi dakwat kering
kegunaan sampingan - Errr! buat pengorek telinga di waktu terdesak... cth waktu terdesak tu mcm ni... seekor lipas (lipas tau) tiba-tiba merayap masuk telinga... (mcm ganas lah pulak cth yg ni) errrr... (sat, nak pikir cth yg lain pulak)...

3) Botol Mineral
kegunaan asal - tempat simpan air
kegunaan sampingan - Buat rakit masa nak mandi kat teluk Kemang... kumpul byk2 pastu cantumkanlah... kalau rajin, bukan setakat rakit... kapal titanic pun boleh dibina... itu kalau rajinlah... kalau malas, boleh buat hantar surat style orang dulu-dulu. tulis satu surat, sumbat dlm botol tu, tutup kemas-kemas... pastu campak tgh laut... kalau nasib baik, surat tu boleh lepas ke kutub utara tanpa perlu bayar duit stamp... kalau nasib tak baik, belum sempat buat apa-apa botol tu dah kena tolak dgn ombak sampai balik kat kaki kita... tapi tak de masalah... boleh lempar balik semula... kalau tak lepas jugak lagi... lempar lagi... berulang2 kali... kalau tak lepas jugak, barulah fikirkan alternatif lain... cthnya beli je sampul surat sekeping, stamp sekeping... poskan ke pejabat pos... lagi selamatttt...


4) Paper lama
kegunaan asal - leh digunakan utk buat draft paper
kegunaan sampingan - Buat sampah... hehehe... boleh pulak bagi jawapan simple.


5) Seluar 'D' lama (seluar D??)
kegunaan asal - pakai kat dalam bukan di luar... (ohhhh seluar tu rupanya. Malu nak sebut ke?)
kegunaan sampingan - Boleh je kalau nak pakai kat luar mcm sorang super hero tu... atau pun boleh jugak buat topeng masa nak merompak bank... hmmmm... nak tuba ikan kat sungai pun orait jugak... nak tuba orang pun boleh tu kalau kena dengan cara dia...

6) Lesung batu
kegunaan asal - menumbuk belacan, dsb
kegunaan sampingan - Buat penukul ketuk paku kat dinding... buat senjata pun boleh. cthnya kalau nampak pencuri nak masuk rumah, baling je lesung tu dgn sepenuh tanaga, tapi pastikan sampai terkena kepala perompak tu... jgn sampai terkena kepala laki, atau bini yg tgh nyorok belakang pintu pulak ya... tak pasal-pasal pulak bergaduh laki bini...

7) Langsir
kegunaan asal - kehiasaan umah/keceriaan umah
kegunaan sampingan - Buat lap tangan masa kenduri... cari-cari tisu tak jumpa. dah tu org tgh ramai, nak bergerak pun payah... kira capai mana yg sempatlah...

8) Komputer ofis
kegunaan asal - buat keja rasmi
kegunaan sampingan - Haaa... buat bloglah. apa lagi kan... pastu jawab tag... errrr, tapi tag ni saya jawab pakai i-mac kat umah ya... tak guna opis punya...

9) Duit syiling
kegunaan asal - nak lengkapkan duit kertas
kegunaan sampingan - buat gores kad prepaid celcom yg baru beli petang tadi...

10) Laman Blog
kegunaan asal - menulis dan mencari sahabat lama dan baru. tukar2 pendapat
kegunaan sampingan - Buat iklan jual barang... reka-reka cerita pasal katak... pasal kera ke, pasal oreng uten ke...pastu isi gambar byk2.. isi lagu byk2 dah mcm MP3 player pulak - isi mcm2lah. pastu berat, payah nak loading...


haaaa..dah abis pun... then kena tag org lain pulak ya...
saya nak tag cikgu ween (tak sengajalah cikgu) dengan cD... (tag yg dulu2 bila nak buat ha)... kak lawa, Dir, Dek pajeli, Miss Zaza... dan sodep...

sekian...